ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
