I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I skipped work to stalk him.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize