if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
