You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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