I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
