Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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