Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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