i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
