drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
