their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
