so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
