i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you would pick up someone in the library
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
