told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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