i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I didn't notice because vodka
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
