Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
