and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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