I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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