R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
