when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
