Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
