We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
