just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
