You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
