remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
