Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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