Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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