oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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