meet me or not, i'm out of control
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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