Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
