"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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