I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
two words...techno handjob
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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