I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
