Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
