I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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