we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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