dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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