It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
