I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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