I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
