i think my mom watched the whole time
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
