All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize