i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
