I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
