when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
