So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
