What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
