My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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