Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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