In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
