He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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