yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
