Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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