if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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