i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
