TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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