Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
