Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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