garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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