I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
